The Marriage Journey Back to Connection: How Imago Helps Us Find Our Way Home

Yesterday, an Imago colleague told me that her twelve-year-old son often says, “Mom, tell me a story you learned from. I learn best from your stories.”

And this colleague, the mother of the story, said: “Perhaps we all learn best through stories.”

I laughed because that’s how I learn best. Stories give us images for experiences that may be hard to describe or face and ways to understand how we can heal, grow and change.

I laughed too because I’ve been thinking about Story Medicine lately, especially after seeing the principles of Imago Relationship Therapy embedded in many of our most beloved stories.

The Wisdom of Greek Mythology and the Journey of the Imago

Greek mythology, for example, is a treasure trove of images and symbolic objects that remind me of Imago. Perseus uses Athena’s scratched shield as a mirror, protecting himself from being turned to stone. Ariadne gives Theseus a red thread so that he can stay connected and find his way through the labyrinth and back to her. Psychologists are given four seemingly impossible tasks:

• distribution of a large mixture of seeds;
• we wait patiently until the ghastly golden rams are silenced;
• allows an eagle to collect the frozen waters of the River Styx on her behalf; and
• descends into the clearly demarcated basement to retrieve a container of beauty from Persephone.

Her duties require understanding, patience, receptivity, respect for boundaries, and a willingness to accept help when what is desired simply cannot be done. These are the qualities we ask couples to practice in Imago Dialogue.

The Red Thread of Connection in the Imago Dialog

In Imago Dialogue, we encourage men and women to stretch the red thread of Ariadne’s connection to the Space Between them. We train them to remove the refined shield of Athena – not as a rigid defense, but as a transparent surface, through which they can see their partner safely and clearly.

Like Odysseus, we ask the Receiver to cling to the mast of their True Self so that they are not swayed by the Siren’s song of reactivity. And like Psyche, we invite every partner:

• smell
• keep calm and;
• moderate neuromuscular tension; and
• When it feels like a huge task to tackle alone, try understanding, patience, curiosity and acceptance.

We advise recipients to gently separate the wheat from the chaff and, with the breath of compassion, sift through the chaff to see, receive and love what is important in each partner.

Entering the Interactive Labyrinth

Once the recipient has secured the location, the sender can enter the maze of labyrinths and discover what is hidden there. The Sender may need the light of the Receiver’s consciousness to illuminate the Wound and the gentle music of their own peaceful Presence so that what is painful can be carried.

With partners, the Imago therapist helps to articulate the past, present, and future in a way that begins to make sense through the senses. The red thread of connection keeps the Sender from getting lost as they venture deeper into the labyrinth, find their wings and return home, fully surrendering to their deepest and truest Self.

The Role of the Imago Therapist: Taking Sanctuary

Clients and therapists do not enter the labyrinth to rescue, direct or interpret. They take place and protect the input while the sender discovers its path.

Thanks to this quality of Being, the hidden thing can become

• discovery,
• acceptance, and
• appreciated

And what was once unbearable can be shared.

Finding Your Way Home With Imago Communication Therapy

it is Sanctuary of Dialogue: a sacred space of communication where each partner can find their way home and find their way to each other.

Perhaps this is the hero’s journey of deeper connection: learning how to stay connected while entering places that once seemed impossible to navigate. Sometimes the road home is the road we learn to walk together.

If you need a little help getting back on track in your relationship, we’re here to help with your online and personal Imago. Communication Workshops and Relationship Therapy.

Learn more about Imago with us Imago Professional Membership, Imago Professional Facilitators, Imago Professional Trainingand Imago Training Webinars.

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