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Few things are as frustrating as having a goal and not being able to achieve it, especially when the people around you seem to be achieving it with ease. What if the desired goal is about our bodies, and our flesh refuses to cooperate when we see that others seem to achieve it easily? It can burn. And violently.
Today’s column comes courtesy of a reader who has been trying to achieve a particular goal for several years, without success. Do they have a chance to land it? What are the roadblocks? Can Dirty Talk’s advice column help? Maybe. Many times. And yes. In that order. Let’s get started!
“I’ve been trying for years now, with no success, and I figured you’d be the one to ask – no matter what I try, I can’t seem to get the prostate to peak. Any suggestions or advice? What am I doing wrong?” – I can’t get enough
What are you doing wrong? You are not necessarily doing anything wrong. If you’ve been trying for years without success, you may never succeed. Bodies and body responses come in different forms, and there is no guaranteed technique that will elicit the same response in everyone. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
Orgasms Are Never Guaranteed
Orgasm is not a guaranteed thing. They’re a lot of fun, but they’re never a guarantee. The more we try to get one, the more impossible it becomes. When our goal is to climax, and we focus on that specific goal, we can find orgasm as difficult as a cat hunting a laser pointer. No matter how hard we try, the finish line eludes us, eludes us again and again.
The truth is that there are many different types of orgasms to experience – sliding orgasms, anal orgasms, mental orgasms, G-spot orgasms, full-body orgasms, painful orgasms, and you can even experience orgasms during childbirth! With such an extensive list, it can certainly be frustrating when you go to choose a prostate orgasm from the sexy watch shelf and it refuses to enter your cart. There are people around you talking about how great it is and your fingers can’t even touch it.
A good way to look at it is to think of one of your go-to moves, something you’ve used on past colleagues so effectively it made their brains melt into a cloud of bliss and their eyes light up… did it work exactly the same on everyone you’ve ever met? Is there one movement guaranteed to, across the board, get everyone hooked on an irresistible dopamine rush? Of course not. Because there is no movement that works on everyone and has guaranteed results.
You May Never Reach Prostate Orgasm
This is not how bodies work. It never has been, and it never will be. Your best bet is to make peace with the fact that you may never reach a prostate orgasm. Once you’ve made peace with this fact, remove the orgasm-p-spot goal from the sexy timeline. Stop striving for a specific outcome and instead approach the experience with the mindset of just having some fun.
You will be surprised how much easier certain things can be achieved when we are not specifically trying to achieve them. Instead of constantly trying to reach a specific destination, enjoy the journey. Think of it as a time of self-care and getting to know your body better. Learn what feels good. Learn what relaxes. Find out what clears your mind. Do that. I would go so far as to tell myself that you are not allowed to orgasm. Take the goal of orgasm off the table so completely that you can’t even see it as a goal.
Relieve Orgasm Pressure
When the pressure of a particular result no longer appears on you and you simply approach the process as a moment of calm self-care, you will only find that the long-lasting orgasm decides to jump off the shelf and then into your basket. But it just happens. Another possibility is that it will never happen. Just as some women spend their entire lives chasing a G-spot orgasm and never achieve it, some men can spend years trying to achieve a prostate orgasm without success.
I can give you all kinds of special techniques, I’m even in a Vice article about how to get a prostate orgasm, but all the techniques in the world can’t guarantee the result you want. Will you stop trying if you can’t reach prostate orgasm? Or maybe you think of it as an autonomous activity that can be relaxing? Happy for simple fun? I recommend the latter, personally. More travel, less space. Try it and see what happens. Best of luck Can’t!
Keep It Kinky My Friends,
GDR
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