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When you enter communities focused on growth, whether it’s online or in person, working with a coach or therapist, being in a group or reading things online, the word ‘doing the work’ comes up early and often.
But what does it mean?
In short, “doing the job” means some serious introspection. It’s about taking a good, hard look at your style, habits, beliefs, and even relationships.
Think of it as a mental and emotional dive into the wild sea of self-discovery.
Now, here’s what I know from my experience doing the work, and the brave people who approach me for coaching: Most people don’t willingly sign up for this journey.
No, it usually takes a good kick out of feelings of dissatisfaction, confusion, or utter despair to get us (or your partner!) into this transformative land.
Yes, that’s me.
My journey with ‘doing work’ started decades ago when my girlfriend at the time called me out on my hiatus mode.
It was like déjà vu from past relationships, and I knew I had to change my tune or be dumped.
So, I took the plunge and sought help from a therapist. Little did I know, it was just the beginning of my epic adventure.
From struggling couples counseling sessions to naked dancing with other men (yes, you read that right), my path to “doing work” has been a crazy journey.
Facing weaknesses challenged my methods of showing up, and taking responsibility as a professional (or at least trying to).
Why is it so scary?
It’s scary because it’s weak.
It’s hard to accept that your life (or part of it) isn’t working out the way you want it to.
It’s dangerous because it means admitting how you present yourself is not effective (which can lead to stories of failure and not being good enough).
And as much as you don’t like the circumstances that led you to work, and as much as you may say you wish things were different, the unknown can be even more frightening.
For most of us, familiar discomfort is better than change, even when that change offers more of what we say we want.
Now, here’s the catch: when you decide to embark on this path of personal growth, you’ve already taken the first step.
Yes, even reading this email and thinking about its message counts as doing work. Who knew self-improvement could start with a simple email, right?
Therefore, fellow truth seeker, I wish you courage and perseverance in your journey of self-discovery.
Remember, change can be scary, but it’s often the catalyst for the transformation you want. And what awaits you on the other side of the work is worth it.
And if you need a helping hand along the way, just hit reply or give me a call on the links below.
stay on the ground
Matt
Talk to Matt about some battles and more approaches. Book your free discovery call here.