Skip to content My wife and I thank each other very much.
Well, at least according to people on the internet.
We thank each other for doing the dishes… taking out the trash… emptying the dishwasher… exercising/working out… raising our son. It is all accepted.
It is not my duty/your duty… it is my turn/your turn… because we see ourselves as a unit.
In marriages where everyone still fundamentally sees themselves as individuals first, it’s easy to slip into number-crunching (which inevitably leads to bitterness and resentment).
This thought is “That’s it yours turned” is completely at odds with having a service-oriented approach.
Yes, there are things that each of us tends to do more of. My wife hasn’t taken out the trash or turned off her gas in years. He tends to cook more because he is better at it and enjoys the process more than I do. So of course there are some considerations about the power of how we serve each other.
But the verbal thanks continues.
For us, we’d rather have a couple that is very grateful…too grateful…than a couple that slowly takes each other for granted and feels like our contributions go unnoticed.
It doesn’t matter if we are married. It doesn’t matter that we have been together for the better part of a decade. We still accept each other constantly.
So, if more gratitude is something you want to incorporate into your marriage, here are some ideas of places to start.
A happy marriage is a very fulfilling marriage
1. Don’t be afraid of thanking you too much.
“I’ve already thanked them for it – they know I appreciate it.”
If it crosses your mind, say it.
Things that Demetra and I thank each other for over and over again, often over the course of several years.
Thank you for transferring countries for me. Thank you for giving birth to our beautiful son. Thank you for working so hard for us. Thanks for those flowers last week. Thank you for my beautiful ring. etc. etc.
Just because you’ve named it once doesn’t mean it needs to be withdrawn from approval.
It may feel silly at first. All right. Pull it tight.
It’s always nice to be recognized for your efforts. Even if your attempts were weeks/months/years ago.
2. Thank them for the big and small things.
You can thank your significant other for things of all sizes. In fact, it’s often good to intentionally include items on both sides of the size scale.
Little things can look like this: making coffee, emptying the dishwasher, taking out the trash, making the bed, putting me to bed, making dinner, grocery shopping, picking up something you know I use a lot.
And great things like: marry me, make our house so warm, the ways you’ve helped me grow as a person, moving, the sacrifices you’ve made for our family, having these kids with me/building this family with me, working to provide for us.
Anything and everything that has to do with how you and your partner appear to each other in any way, name it all.
3. Special thanks.
Instead of broad brushstrokes like “Thank you for everything you do for us,” go deeper than that by including more specifics.
“Thanks for taking the baby this morning so I could get an extra hour of sleep. I’m tired, and it made a huge difference in my whole day.”
“Thank you for working so hard to provide us with this life. When I go grocery shopping / buy a gift for a friend / shop for XYZ, I never have to think about whether we can afford it and it’s all because of you and your hard work.”
“Thank you for these delicious meals. I love and adore your food for all the variety and taste I get everyday. Our whole family benefits from your talent and love for cooking.”
Something special, the better.
Thanks, Thanks, Thanks Again
Again, most people approach most relationships with a mindset of “They know how I feel/I’ve already told them I appreciate it.”
But starting today, you have full permission to swing the pen a lot more with your gratitude.
Always appreciate, accept and give thanks for everything in any size.
Try it. It can bring a new level of depth, love and connection to your union.
For your success,
Jordan
Ps. If you enjoyed this article, you may also like to check out:
– 7 Communication Tools for Married Business Owners
– 121 Deep Questions to Ask Your Partner
– 5 Powerful Communication Tools That Work Fast
– How to meet your husband in 30 days
– 9 Ways to Improve Your Marriage Using Anti Apocalypse
The post My Wife And I Talk To Each Other Too Much appeared first on Jordan Gray Advice.