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Texting is a big part of communication today, but it can cause a lot of insecurity, confusion, and mixed messages.
Good intentions can often be lost in writing because of how someone conveys the message. Without hearing their voice or seeing their face, it is easy to misinterpret their words. A script that was meant to be playful or direct can come across as cold or boring when reduced to a few sentences on a phone screen. Before you jump to conclusions, consider that a person’s delivery of a text may not reflect their true intentions. When in doubt, ask them for further clarification.
Even at home, I feel like I’m playing with my husband sometimes. We have very different communication styles. I’m a communicator and writer by day, so it comes naturally to me. He is not a man of many words, so I had to be patient for years trying to decipher his writings.
People often misread each other’s texts, especially if you still know someone. You may be more of an emotional writer, while someone you’re dating isn’t comfortable showing that vulnerability. You can read into this thinking that they are not as invested as you. Unfortunately, these initial assumptions can cause problems in new relationships.
Text tags should be transposed carefully so as not to cause insecurity.
You both need to be on the same page with how you communicate. It’s important to have an early discussion about your expectations, especially when starting a new relationship. If something starts to bother you about their compatibility, don’t let it build before you question things.
Instead of trying to interpret their text, simply tell them that you didn’t quite understand what they meant. Ask them to be specific so that you can understand every text they send. Learning how to communicate with a creative person is always appreciated. It also leaves very few questions unanswered as you get to know each other.
Here are some text problems that cause insecurity and confusing messages.
- One word answers:
Texting words like OK, no, yes, or a simple emoji doesn’t really communicate much to the person receiving the text. It comes across as very cut and dry. Be honest and considerate when writing to someone you are talking to.
2. Delayed responses:
You can send them a good morning text at 9am, and not hear from them until 9pm. This is a common complaint because it sends a message that they may not be as invested as you. This causes you to second guess where you stand with them. “Are they seeing other people? Didn’t I say something I didn’t like about them in my last post?”
3. Daily writing stops or slows down:
This can bring out insecurities if you texted someone regularly within the first month of meeting them. Everything is going well, and then suddenly, the reverse connection slows down drastically. The flirting has stopped, and the texts have become more shallow. This happens when people jump in too quickly and then pull back just as quickly. This is less likely if you slow things down and take the time to get to know someone.
4. Don’t always assume the worst:
Be communicative. A good rule of thumb is to let each other know your work schedules and other busy days you have planned for the coming week. This type of etiquette lets the other person know what to expect. It removes insecurity and lets them know you care, but how busy your days are.
Send them a quick text to let them know you’re thinking about them and you look forward to talking to them later. This simple gesture will keep you close during those busy times. Because you’re communicating with them, they don’t second-guess your actions.
5. Don’t proofread your posts before sending them:
Autocorrect creates confusion! Always read over your messages before you hit send. Deciphering any text can be very frustrating for the person on the receiving end.
6. They send many texts during the day:
Many people are busy with their jobs, and it’s frustrating when someone sends 5 different texts in a row, sending the notification ringing like a pinball machine. It is acceptable to send one text during their lunch hour. Both of you should have limits for writing during the day.
7. Leave messages on READ without replying:
This is a huge concern when it comes to dating. When someone texts you, don’t open the message if you don’t have time to respond. This lack of respect leaves so many people confused about whether or not they are a priority in someone’s life.
There’s no excuse not to reply to a message when you’ve taken the time to open it. It takes 10 seconds to write back a reply, even if you are busy. Say something like: I’m sorry I can’t chat right now. I am truly amazed at the work. I will send you on your way home after 5 pm. Be careful! Please don’t leave people hanging. It certainly doesn’t make them feel special.
8. Time to write or eat bread:
Be very wary of someone who constantly texts you, but never pursues a personal meeting. This is a very common practice with cheaters, cheaters, and people looking for a serious relationship. There are also many people who are just as happy face-to-face as they are through text. They usually say all the right things, offering you toasts and romantic texts to keep you interested.
If someone keeps making excuses as to why they can’t see you in person, they really aren’t interested in having a relationship. If you’re looking for a commitment, be honest, tell them you want more, and be strong enough to walk away. Many women wait for months for someone to finally make time for them, only to be disappointed when the relationship never progresses.
It is important to have communication styles like today.
Some relationships end because of assumptions made through text rather than what they feel in person. Healthy writing is really about mutual respect. This means taking care of each other’s time and feelings. It also means knowing when it’s better to pick up the phone or have a face-to-face conversation rather than trying to solve questions or problems through your smartphone.
Don’t leave anyone waiting for a reply to your text. It only takes a few seconds to know that you are busy and will respond later. You should both have similar expectations about how much you communicate during the day. Continuous writing can be exhausting. Being a serial writer who posts all day can be overwhelming, especially in the early stages.
Learn how to write creatively and unconventionally. Give your conversations some personality. Ask meaningful questions, flirt a little, and use playful humor when possible. Don’t use texting as a substitute for real communication. The goal is to build a relationship that feels good through all forms of communication. A real person will not mislead you and analyze every text; they will allow you to feel safe and secure as you stand as a new couple.
*Please watch the video below for more information on today’s topic:
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